Sam Cruz's Infallible Guide to Getting Girls by Tellulah Darling

Book:  Sam Cruz’s Infallible Guide to Getting Girls

Author:  Tellulah Darling

Publisher:  Te Da Media

Date:  October 17, 2012

Source:  Publisher via Netgalley

My grade:  Freakin’ A+!

Why the hell can’t chicks be more like guys?

That question plagues high school senior Sam Cruz. Sam is perfectly happy being a player. He just wishes girls wouldn’t change the game from sex to relationships. It makes him look like an asshole. But when Sam’s best friend, Ally Klinger, gets dumped, she begs him to transform her into someone who can screw around then screw off. No risk of heartbreak that way. It’s Sam’s chance to create the perfect female AND cheer up his best friend. Armed with Sam’s Three Step Guide to Backseat Success, Ally gets the game better than Sam thought she would and before long, Sam has his wish: the female version of himself. Too bad it’s driving him nuts. Told from Sam’s and Ally's alternating POVs, Sam Cruz’s Infallible Guide to Getting Girls is a fast-paced romantic comedy that follows these teens as they navigate the minefield of sex, love, and friendship.

This book contains strong language, drinking, euphemisms, and lots of “bow chicka wow wow.” (cover and description from www.goodreads.com)

Initial reaction

GAH!!!  This book was soooooooooo good!!!

Cover story

I have much love for both of these.  The title is already funny and gives you an idea of the fabulous humor found inside the book.  The cover picture of perfect and it reflects the content of the book without being embarrassing or clichéd.  It’s wonderful!

What’s the story?

So, Sam is a player.  Like, a big-time player.  He is a total love ‘em and leave ‘em guy.  All he wants is no strings attached sexy times.  He is best friends with Ally, a geeky, vegetarian granola girl.  So, when she unexpectedly gets dumped by her boyfriend, she decides that she wants to be a player like Sam.  So, she asks him to teach her how to do it and she gives herself a makeover from hippie to hottie.  Of course, as Sam sees boys starting to notice her, he starts to notice her as well and mucho trouble and antics ensue.  See why this is a great book?

I loved the characters in this book.  Sam was such a great character!!  He was such a charmer and the reader of the book is not immune to his killer charm either.  Of course, watching him flounder about and try to make sense of his life is just so funny.  The book is told in alternating points of view and Sam and Ally both are so snarky and smart, so the narrative is just hysterically funny.  Their voices combined with the string of romantic misfires just made this one of the most entertaining books I’ve read in quite a while.

Now, I have read some rather scathing reviews of this book because of the amount of sex, drinking and profanity in it.  There is a lot.  After all, this book is about a guy who basically searches out one-night stands and how he teaches his girl best friend to do the same thing.  A lot of people have said that this book is in no way realistic, but I beg to differ.  I teach high school and people, believe me when I tell you that these kids are drinking and having sex way more than they should be.  Also, their language is horrible.  I hear more f-bombs in the hall than the Germans dropped on Britain.  So, I think that this novel actually captures a lot of what it’s like to be a teen today.

Of course, the whole point of the novel is to watch these two navigate through this total car wreck they’ve created and have Sam eventually realize the error of his ways, right?  Which means that he has to have wicked ways to begin with!  In any case, the language, sex and drinking really didn’t bother me as far as seeming unrealistic and even though I thought that they both were making poor choices, if they hadn’t done so, there would be no story!

I thought this book was fantastically entertaining.  I could not put it down.  I actually read it at my desk while my student teacher taught on Wednesday.  I finished it in a day.  I thought it was funny, snarky and smart while also being at times heartbreaking and endearing.  Tell me the last time you found a novel that could deliver all that?!?

I cannot praise this book enough.  As long as you are not easily offended, you should run to your nearest book shop and purchase this one as soon as you possibly can.  After all, Sam is definitely not looking for a long-term relationship here, so you better get a piece of him while you can. : )

The Soundtrack

Mr. Heartbreaker by Chanelle Ray

If I Was a Man by Pussycat Dolls

Pimpin’ All Over the World by Ludacris

She Is by The Fray

Come On Get Higher by Matt Nathanson

The Final Grade

My final grade for this book is A+!!!  I loved it!  If you are looking for a funny read that’s a bit on the naughty side, pick up this book.  The guide won’t get you any girls, but it will get you a good dose of laughter and feel good!